Evan is the Sarah Palin of #SYTYCD. He’s young, cute, popular and out of his...– Twitter / Amy Dalton: Evan is the Sarah Palin of … (via robot-heart)
LET'S GO TO THE MALL
mom: yeah, but you were a lot younger then
dad: mmm, remember when you used to be pretty?
What a great summer dinner.
If you find these songs in twenty years, will you tell whoever you’re with then that they all are about you? Or maybe you’ll just call out my name with a smile on your face, because I’ll just be sitting in the other room. -Dean Engle/Minor Constellations
Nolan: my parents had a room next to mine
and i thought my dad was sneezing
so i was like 'BLESS YOU!'
i hope and pray to the sweet lord above that he didn't hear me
Nolan: cause after that i realized how little they sounded like sneezes, and how much they sounded like groans
oldboats: My ode to math rock. I put a weird...
‘Cause some little chumps go to college, some little chumps go home, some...– Orange County
DON’T YOU DARE CLOSE YOUR EYES
I do not tolerate such foolishness, such tomfoolery!– Me, on butt sex
Cannulated Cow →
gregbrown: bestofwikipedia: A cannulated cow, also referred to as a cow with a window, is a cow that has been surgically fitted with a cannula, a porthole-like device which allows access to its rumen. Cows undergo this procedure so that their nutritional needs and digestive processes can be more easily studied. (via @yjon) Being a university with a vet school and significant agriculture...
True Life: Best & Worst Moments Ever!
This recap of past True Life episodes made me cry twice. As much as MTV has poisoned our society today, this show gives us a view into the very real lives of very real people. This isn’t Real World: Anywhere or The Hills/City. They showed how courageous our returning veterans can be, not only in Iraq, but in physical therapy as well. I saw a young man named Joey (who lost three limbs) greet...
j0e: Facebook agreed to let a 3rd party use your pics and name. Facebook > privacy settings > newsfeeds and wall > Facebook ads tab. Select NO ONE. Save your changes. Then tell your friends.
I would have asked for your number. And I wouldn’t have been able to wait...– You’ve Got Mail
sydneyesque:(via tunaeverynight) Dwight Schrute...
chicken and broccoli
i can’t even see your face because you are supposedly sleeping, but i know that you look super cute. i hear your stomach’s thunder; tonight’s dinner is tossing and turning like you would have been, if only you didn’t work the graveyard shift. your heavy breathing leads me to believe you are either sleeping or getting frustrated with hearing me type. you might wake up soon...
(443): Saying she let herself go implies she was...
missbrightside: thenightdances: “Mr....
How does this have like 390 notes? Ugh.
If you pick me a flower, I’ll wear it in my hair. I’ll stash little notes for you where you least expect them. I don’t have many firsts left.. but I’d like someone who I could offer all of my lasts. We’ll make history together. I’ll wait for you even if you’re late – and I won’t complain about it. Kindness to cashiers, valets, waiters and maddeningly slow postal clerks who would try the patience...
Comedies involve people who are worse than we are, epics involve people who are...
The Princess Bride is on ABC Family. I've never...
All these quotes that I’ve heard before but never understood are making so much more sense.
I am the best fucking girlfriend ever. You betta recognize.– Myself, during a phone conversation with Clifton.
I wish I liked anything as much as my kids liked bubbles.– Knocked Up
Approaching Austin, TX!
When people start learning something new, they perceive the world around them...– Ze Frank, as quoted by Matt Webb in a wonderful presentation about macroscopes. Ze Frank continues, saying, “If you start learning how to play the guitar, suddenly the guitar stands out in all the music you listen to. As more and more people have access to things like iMovie, they begin to...
eugh, more like terrible pot pie & YES, i care
mom’s bringing in reinforcements: spicy chicken sandwich (no mayo) from wendy’s
chicken pot pie & i don't care, chicken pot pie &...
CHICKEN POT PIE & I DON’T CAAAARE m’master’s gone away
Lost In The Trees →
If you’re going to be in Richmond tonight, you should definitely check this out. LITT is playing at Plaza Duckpin Bowl with Euphio Machine. I saw them at The Boot not too long ago, and it was an amazing show. If you’re not going, then tell someone you know about it! It’s like that Pay It Forward movie…that I never saw, but whatever.