So I bought a 12-pack of toilet paper on Sunday night. I refilled the roll because I am a considerate human roommate. MONday night. Cardboard tube just chillin. First of all, seriously? My roommate never seems to replace the TP. Secondly, how the fuck did you use up an entire roll of toilet paper in one day, possibly less than 24 hours? I used maybe like total 20 squares that day. Definitely...
"bitches runnin wild"
I think this phrase can be applied to almost anything. Not enough soymilk? bitches runnin wild Campus connector is twenty minutes late? BRW Tryna spend my Rumors store credit and eat mad quiche this wknd? b-r-w.
It goes both ways. No one’s gonna love you more than I do and no one’s gonna love me more than you do. Every time I start to second guess or think “what if”, I always stop and remember how grateful I am to have someone like you in my life. I feel like Will Ferrel in whatever movie he’s in where he’s like “I’M IN LOOOVE AND I DON’T CARE WHO...
I think I am, unfortunately, totally a sucker for dudes in a capella groups. Maybe I just like Andy Bernard too much? Give me khakis and a blue blazer and I’ll give you…well, I don’t know what I’d give you but I bet you’d enjoy it. Sing me sweet covers of old old bad songs with like fifteen of your friends and that one Asian guy. When someone mentions one of those old...
Y’know, I was just about to follow fyeahcolinfirth, when I realized that he is quite possibly the plainest looking person ever. I bet there are five hundred men who look quite comparably to him in England. Why do I find him so attractive?
sorry, but i just want to share with y’all something that is just MAKING my day. i have to watch some lecture on youtube about…fuck if i know, i haven’t watched it yet. something about socio-economic status and race and stuff. but i’m not trying to WATCH a lecture in my free time. he’s just standing there at a podium, and the camera will occasionally pan to the...
According to America's Funniest Home Videos,
my baby-fart-threshold is about 25 in a row before I start hating life.